Six lessons of life

Lesson 1: Naked Wife
A man is getting into the shower just as his
wife is finishing up her shower when the
doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in
a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens
the door, there stands Bob, the next door
neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll
give you $800 to drop that towel.” After
thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in
the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…
“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door
neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband
says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he
owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time,
you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
Lesson 2:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an
antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just
one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the
administration clerk. “I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me
next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in
Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK,
you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The
manager says, “I want those two back in the
office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have
the first say.
Lesson 3:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a
leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said,”Father, remember Psalm
129?” The priest removed his hand.
But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
leg again. The nun once again said, “Father,
remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized
“Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at
the convent, the nun went on her way. On his
arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look
up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed
in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A rabbit asked him,”Can I also sit like you
and do nothing all day long?” The crow
answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on
the ground below the crow, and rested.
...A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
Lesson 5: Power of Charisma
A turkey was chatting with a bull “I would love
to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed
the turkey, but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well,
why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied
the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The
turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating
some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he
was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the
turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it wont keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
into a large field. While he was lying there, a
cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to
sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and
ate him.
Moral of the story:
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend
3. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to
keep your mouth shut